Saturday, May 03, 2008

Aries/Mars, The Tower, Hard Facts

So, Gentle Readers, you will pardon me, I hope, if I veer into the turbulent, frothy seas of esoterica. I wouldn't (mostly because my spiritual beliefs tend to be private and inchoate), but it's just a bit to strange to go without remarking -- the eeriness of this particular occasion.

For hard facts and updates on our situation, scroll right down to the bottom of this post.



video


As I turned back today to projects left hanging from before The Day Which Will Live in Infamy (see Tibial Plateau Fracture post, if you don't know what I'm talking about), I found this video I'd been working of, a documentation of the Aries Fire-Lighting contest from the All-Aries birthday party we hosted 2 weeks ago. Our Aries(es) competed to see who could light their birthday cake candles the fastest. In retrospect, I think we might have invoked Aries (also known as Mars) a bit too successfully... So strange to see this after cleaning out smoke damage for a week! Reminds me a bit as well of the Tower card of the Tarot, also associated with Mars:


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THE TOWER (copied & pasted from someplace online - sorry, but I've lost the address)

Basic Card Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcropping, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.

Basic Tarot Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower, fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself, helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining. Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul.

Basic Tarot Meaning

With Mars as its ruling planet, the Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower, as Wang points out, stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." When the Querent gets this card, they can expect to be shaken up, to be blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.

***

The strange thing is that -- gentle readers, I am ashamed to admit -- I had been in a terrible mood the night before this happened, complaining that I was frustrated with my accomplishments and my perceived failures, feeling that I hadn't done enough (excelling, succeeding) lately. This is a perennial worry of mine and usually strikes when I am already feeling sort of down... it is truly about trying to satisfy worldly & egoistic ideas about measuring up, competing, being something/somebody -- the kind of ambition that lots of artists suffer from, in fact what drives them to make art: a kind of fear that they are not enough in themselves, and have to be recognized as such. Paradoxically, I think it is part of the cycle that makes it very difficult to actually make art, a kind of suffocating expectation which makes it hard to perform.

So I really feel that I have had that flash of awareness described above, and that we are now in a really good position to build something new, based on a foundation of truth.


***


I have a follow-up appointment at Woodhull's orthopedic clinic Monday morning. They are going to tell me whether I need a cast and look at how the healing has progressed probably tell me how long they think I need to be on the crutches. I also need to seek 2nd opinions.

I think I'll try to get back to work towards the end of next week.

I'm also getting good advice from a friend (Sarah Phillips) who was hit by a car while riding her bike a couple of years ago... she's a veteran and knows a lot about insurance companies and their wily ways!

Aaron's boss Hudson was nice enough to give him a day off yesterday so that he could stay home and get some real cleanup done... Poor Aaron has been working full days, then coming home exhausted only to look after me and try to do clean-up on top of all the chores, etc. Aaron's birthday is tomorrow, so everyone send him happy birthday vibes! Now our place is starting to feel and smell like home again. Many thanks to all of you who came and helped and visited this week. More than anything it is just so sweet to have you around, and lifts the spirits.

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